我们若说自己无罪,便是自欺,真理不在我们心里了。
(约翰一书1:8)
“爱会承担责任,愿意谦卑地在第一时间承认自己的过错并且悔改。”非常同意这一句话。最怕就是死不认错的人。婚姻中的问题,绝大多数都是属于一个巴掌拍不响的类型,每个人都有自己的错要改正,每个人都有自己的罪要对付。所以真爱不仅要原谅对方,也要勇于为自己的错误道歉。
及时虚心认错,这一点,我是从先生那里学来的。他是一个很谦卑的人(他说以前他也很狂妄自大,还好那时候我不认识他,我最讨厌狂妄的人),也知道自己的弱点,由于自己而给别人带来麻烦的时候,总是认错。所以我也就不觉得认错是件大不了的事。如果饭烧晚啦,车位停得不好让他进不来车库啦,这些都会及时真诚道歉,并且努力改正。
今天没看到功课内容之前,我已经不知不觉完成了功课:诚挚道歉,请求原谅。
清晨五点半的时候,我没起床,他出门之前来拥抱了我一下说再见,其实以前也经常这样的,只是我这几天夜里睡觉少,可能就有了睡气,我明明是在半清醒状态,却又很清醒地责备了他:“Hey,你以后不用跟我说再见啦,你蹑手蹑脚穿衣服,最后要走了,又把我吵醒了,不是前面的努力都白费了?”他说:“我好像不跟你说一下,一天就没有一个好的开始呢。哎,不过,好吧,我知道了。没关系,我的感情没有受伤。”他边说边轻轻关上门,走了。
我听他最后一句话,有些自责,那就是有一点点受伤嘛,还说没有。哎,你看,这个爱的功课不是刚做过,我还下决心要每天起来做早饭、送他出门、为他的一天祷告呢。才过了几天,又忘脑后了。他跟我道声再见都觉得是一天好的开始,如果我每天那样做,他真的是会很开心呀。
This day's assignment is something that Helen and I have done all our married life. So there isn't a lot outstanding at the moment. I think therefore that I should share some of the things I have had to confess and work on in the past. I am very air-headed, but sometimes air-headedness is just another name for simple thoughtlessness. And, obviously, I have tended to work too much in the past.
It is particularly embarrassing that I have not yet become fluent in 普通话. I think this is particularly disappointing for my wife and parents-in-law because I am actually good at languages, and simply have been lazy because Helen's English is so good I can get away with not knowing Chinese. I really should buckle down and learn it.
It's also very frustrating that I have so much trouble keeping track of where I spend money — and this is particularly unfair to Helen because she works so hard to save it. It's one thing to make a conscious decision to spend some money because you've decided it's worth it. But I will start the week with $50 cash and a couple of days later there will only be $10, and when I try remember what i spent it on I will have no idea. (Up until now I think most of Helen's readers have liked me from afar, but now that I've admitted to THAT, I suspect I instantly went to having zero friends in China. This is one way in which I absolutely grant that Chinese are far superior to Americans in general and to me in particular. It is frustrating and embarrassing to me and I have no idea how Helen puts up with it.)
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